The Toad and the Slug, or a Sage and his Princess
by Namekuji-hime
Summary: A series of drabbles, one shots, and prompts for my favorite Naruto pairing. UPDATE 11/29/2014: Well, after 3 years I'm returning to this story. Looks like it's time to give it a bit of a face-lift, so to speak.
1. Homecoming Redux

A/N: So, after three years I've decided to return to this story and give it a face-lift (so to speak). Some of the chapters, such as this one, will be updates of previous one-shots while others will be entirely new. That said… enjoy!

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><p><strong>Homecoming, Redux. <strong>

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><p>If Jiraiya didn't know any better he'd swear she'd been watching him as he approached.<p>

Discreetly, of course… Though he doubted that word could be applied given the scrutiny behind those bright golden eyes.

With as much indifference as he could muster, he greeted her. "Yo." She didn't say anything in response at first. Rather, just raised her head to meet his gaze directly. He barely even noticed Sarutobi-sensei or Orochimaru in the background. For a few, brief seconds time stopped, and when she lifted her chin and thick lashes raised to give way to startling amber, he was speechless.

In that moment, all he saw – was her.

"You're back." It wasn't a question. Just two simple words; spoken by a voice that sounded like honey to his weary ears. Soft. Soothing. _Perfect_. And to a ninja who'd been away from home for what seemed like forever… that was enough.

"Yeah, Hime." He smiled. "I'm back."

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><p>Orochimaru could see him approaching from <em>miles<em> away. That massive, bumbling oaf severely lacked the stealth that was inherent of any great ninja. However, the snake charmer could not deny the strange feeling that welled in his chest upon sight of his comrade. He almost felt, dare he say it, complete… Now that Jiraiya was back and their little trio made whole again, all was right with the world once more. Silently, as he observed the interaction between his two counterparts, he wondered if perhaps the toad wouldn't prove a worthy confidant in lieu of his most recent… experiments.

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><p>Sarutobi Hiruzen lightly crushed the cigarette beneath his heel. They'd been waiting for an hour now, and still no sign of his former student. "I'm getting too old for this…" Already he could feel that familiar dull ache in his bones, his joints irritated and muscles sore. Or maybe he was imagining it. His mind pestered by thoughts of all the other things he needed to accomplish and still had yet to do. It wasn't that he didn't want to be the first to welcome Jiraiya back to the village; just that he'd been swamped lately with paper-work. Far too much of it for an aging man such as himself, if anyone cared to ask him. Tsunade, however, had insisted upon being at the gate bright and early, and the poor girl had been rather anxious since they received word a week ago that Jiraiya was returning. Maybe he imagined a lot of things. Like the obvious underlying feelings between his two former students. Or that his protégée wasn't up to anything at all sinister in that lab of his. Maybe, just maybe… But alas, such was the benefit of being in the twilight years of one's life – no one questioned the reason behind your thoughts. At least not openly. "Orochimaru," he lit another cigarette between his teeth. "Did he say in the letter what time he'd get here?" Biwako would murder him if she knew he was still smoking.<p>

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><p>"Baka."<p>

The word caught in her throat, chest heaving as she struggled to breathe. Months of feeling like she was drowning in a sea of uncertainty and suddenly it felt as though a giant weight had been lifted. It wasn't like the Senju Princess to get so emotional but the war had taken its toll on her. They'd lost so many. Friends. Family. Loved ones. _Moments_. She didn't allow herself time to think – she just reacted. And no one was more shocked than Jiraiya when she launched herself at him, small arms wrapping tightly around his large torso. Not Orochimaru, his serpentine eyes wide with disbelief. Or Sarutobi-sensei who grinned to himself with a chuckle. No one. Save for Jiraiya, who despite feeling her body tremble gently and the wet tears damp against his shirt, marveled at the strength and beauty of her. His Hime.

"Stay." She whispered, to which he replied: "I will."


	2. A Man In Love

As far as teachers went, Sarutobi Hiruzen was pretty lax when it came to checking up on the progress of his former students. (Hell, he couldn't even remember the last time he'd seen Orochimaru despite the boy being his favorite – more often than not, the snake charmer was too busy studying the various jutsu archived in Konoha's records to be bothered).

Perhaps that's why he was shocked to see Tsunade wrapped in the affectionate embrace of another fellow jounin while walking to Ichiraku one day, early in summer.

The weather had just turned warm and though the scenario was neither unpleasant nor unexpected, it was the fact that this particular jounin was not also a former student of his which perturbed him.

"I thought I'd find you here."

Jiraiya, his hair a mess as always and face contorted in what Sarutobi knew to be deep thought, leaned against a tree. He'd grown taller than the old man once remembered.

"So, do you want to talk about it or would you prefer I leave you to mope in silence?"

"I have no idea what you're getting at."

The young toad sage's brow twitched and he crossed his arms in an almost child-like manner, but Hiruzen only smirked as he drew a cigarette from his vest. Carefully he balanced it between his lips as he spoke.

"A man will do anything to see the woman he loves happy, even if it means just standing back and watching her pursue that happiness with someone else."

A moment's pause and then, "I don't lov-"

"Of course not. You're the _gallant _Jiraiya; the gutsy shinobi. You spend your days chasing skirts and anything with a pulse. It doesn't take much to catch your attention, does it? No. You could never be tied down to one woman. Let alone pine after a teammate who's rejected your advances time and time again. And yet…" A puff of smoke. "The second she pays you an ounce of attention nothing else in this world matters but the thought of how to make her smile again."

When he was finished Sarutobi merely flicked the cigarette to the ground, crushing it beneath the heel of his sandal. A look of acceptance had passed over Jiraiya's face and both men, one young and the other old, observed the sunset low on the horizon.

"She deserves to be happy sensei. After all she's been through she deserves someone she can love who's not going to leave or abandon her to go wandering aimlessly after some foolish dream. She needs him now, more than ever."

"And you need her. The irony of it is that while wars may divide countries and tear people apart, heartache is still the greater struggle."


	3. Yesterday

"He loves her - enough to go through Hell to try and bring back the one person she cares about most. Even at the cost of his own happiness."

Jiraiya stood behind Tsunade, watching as she peered over the balcony. Her eyes trained intensely on the citizens below as if straining her eyesight might drown out the truth behind his words.

"Puppy love," she noted bitterly, raising a hand to pinch the bridge of her nose in an effort to alleviate a headache which had yet to take form. "He'll get over it, and her, soon enough - the second they both realize that not everyone can be saved."

"You said that about me too once, Hime, remember?"

Neither of them spoke for a moment as the sun began to set. Its tones of red and orange a brilliant contrast against the rich, green leaves of Konoha. Silently he wondered, had she always been as beautiful as she was now.

"You don't love me Jiraiya. What you love is a distant memory."

Her words were meant to be a hurtful blow yet he had known her long enough to see that there was no true malice there. Only a sad, painful longing and the heartache at what could have been.

"True, but even now I catch a glimpse of her from time to time."


	4. Similarities and Distant Memories

He shouldn't have come.

Hell, he didn't know why he bothered.

From what Orochimaru had told him, she was refusing to speak to anyone.

She hadn't even left _his_ apartment in four days.

One look at the place though and he knew exactly why he did it.

Whether or not he wanted to, Jiraiya cared.

It took him three attempts at trying to pry the door open before he just let himself in through the window.

Everywhere was a mess – clothes strewn here and there, dirty dishes piled in the sink...

A vase of wildflowers, untouched upon the nightstand, were already wilted.

"Shit, Hime." He drew in a deep breath as he gazed at the figure hunched over in the corner. "What's happened to you?"

Tsunade sat on the floor with her arms drawn protectively around her knees.

"You can't do this to yourself." He kneeled beside her, touching her tearstained face as gently as a giant could.

Golden eyes, once so full of fire, seemed empty.

Never, could Jiraiya recall seeing Konoha's Slug Princess appear so hollow.

Even when Nawaki had died, heartbroken as she had been, there was still life there.

"I know it hurts, but you're stronger than this."

She didn't look at him, didn't even openly acknowledge him when she spoke.

"What would you know?" She questioned. "I lost the man I loved; I couldn't even save him."

Silence.

"Once I lost the woman I loved."

Onyx eyes wavered as yet another petal fell from a single white flower.

Slowly it floated downwards, coming to rest against the aged wood of the table.

"I watched her die, helpless. I saw her light go out, knowing there was nothing I could do. Yet still, I'm trying to save her."

Neither of them said a word after that.

Neither knew how.

Years later they would discuss the incident.

One still mourning the loss of a bright, promised future.

The other wondering how a girl, so young and vibrant, had grown so bitter.


	5. Knowledge is Power

There were some things Jiraiya _JUST_ knew.

Hell, who needed facts and credible sources these days when you could just as easily find things out by being a wayward, observant pervert.

For example, he KNEW Tsunade's bra size just by _scientifically_ measuring her chest with his eyes (then again, it also didn't hurt that he may have rummaged through her undergarments once or twice... by accident, of course...)

He KNEW that Sarutobi-sensei and his bride-to-be, a quiet but stern kunoichi named Biwako, were apart of an exclusive swingers club... How he had managed to find that out that small bit of information was something he refused to say. Far be it beneath the Toad-Sage-in-training to admit that he had been looking for a Valentine's gift for Tsunade in one of Konoha's more shady districts when he came across a certain advertisement...

And finally, he KNEW that Orochimaru _JUST_ had to be gay.

I mean, come on, what sort of hot-blooded twelve year old male refuses to risk life and limb for some idiotic trip to the women's bathhouse just for a chance to glimpse Koharu Utatane naked?

Shit, Jiraiya already considered it bad enough that his fellow teammate preferred snakes to the company of charming and lovely young ladies.

He'd voiced his opinion several times to anyone who would listen.

Sarutobi-sensei just sighed and shook his head.

Tsunade laughed and then proceeded to lecture Jiraiya on his "_subconscious_" desire to be with the little fork-tongued creep.

It wasn't until years later and a few empty bottles of sake that the real truth came out:

Orochimaru had lost his virginity to none other than the infamous Koharu Utatane.

**A/N: **Just a short, random and harmless drabble since I finally got my laptop back up and running. I don't feel like being serious today. In case anyone's wondering, Koharu Utatane is the name of Sarutobi's former teammate and the predominant female member of the council (she makes quite a few appearances in the manga and anime - look her up.)


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